00:00 (zero o'clock)

15 Oct, 2023

the name of this blog is based on the bts song with the same name.
many people may view bts as just another k-pop boy band, and many people may wonder how they can have so many devoted fans (yes, i am one of them - since 2015!).

when i first discovered them i had just graduated high school. i didn't get into the college i wanted to go to (and definitely not one that my parents wanted me to go to) and i was just discovering that depression and anxiety are so real and i was experiencing them.

i was in korea, staying in a town called pohang where my mom's side of the family mainly lives.
staying with extended family is tough when you've only ever met them once before, and my overprotective mother did not give me any freedom to explore by myself, even though korea is much much safer compared to new york.
however, this time, instead of forcing me to sleep on the floor of my grandparents' living room, she rented a room for me in a nearby motel with a really nice ocean view. i ended up staying in this room for much of my time (remember, i was a depressed 17-year old).

i ended up watching a lot of tv, which i was okay with because there are a lot of entertaining korean programs.
after a lot of these programs, music videos are played for the sake of promoting artists - this is where i first saw bts.

i'll skip the story about how i fell for jungkook's looks and skills😅
when i started looking into their music, the lyrics stood out to me a lot.

"해가 뜨기 전 새벽이 가장 어두우니까" - "Because the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest"

"어른들이 하는 고백 / 너넨 참 편한 거래 / 분에 넘치게 행복한 거래 / 그럼 이렇게도 불행한 나는 뭔데" -
"The confession that adults make / they say we have it easy / they say that we are happier than our portion / then how do you explain my unhappiness?"

"다시 Run Run Run 넘어져도 괜찮아" - "Run Run Run again, it's okay to fall"
^ i needed this one a lot.

they also spoke on various issues and topics that you would normally not have seen in k-pop at that time.
and they still continue to comfort, and inspire, and speak out.

"집에 와 / 침대에 누워 / 생각해봐 / 내 잘못이었을까" -
"I come home / lie down on my bed / and wonder / ‘was it my fault?’"
but when the clock strikes 12 AM again - or zero o'clock - a new day begins.

00:00 (zero o'clock) is a song that talks about how sometimes you have those days when you feel like nothing is working out, when you just feel sad, or maybe when you feel like the world is spinning without you.
this could symbolize just a new day, but it could also symbolize a new chapter, a new beginning, etc.

"And you gonna be happy / And you gonna be happy / 막 내려앉은 저 눈처럼 / 숨을 쉬자 처음처럼 / And you gonna be happy / And you gonna be happy / Turn this all around / 모든 게 새로운 / Zero O’Clock" -
"And you gonna be happy / And you gonna be happy / Just like the freshly fallen snow / Let’s breathe, like we did at the beginning / And you gonna be happy / And you gonna be happy / Turn this all around / Everything is new at / Zero O’Clock"

when i first heard this song, it was like they knew exactly how i was feeling and what i needed.
living with depression and anxiety makes a lot of things difficult.
after a bad day it's really easy to carry over those emotions into the next day, but this song is always a reminder that i don't have to do that.
a new day is another chance to try again.
it doesn't mean that everything will be okay once a new day starts, (and the song mentions that as well!) but you also don't know what the new day holds in store for you.
here's to hoping for happier days.

#anxiety #bts #depression #thoughts