a conversation with my doctor
today i went to the doctor with my mom for a routine check up.
my mom is a nurse so she's always on top of these things, making me get a blood test every year (which i despise because i'm afraid of needles).
anyways, my doctor is quite an interesting guy and today we had a very deep conversation.
my mom and i usually go in together during these appointments, so it was the three of us in the exam room.
he started off by telling us he'll be retiring in four years, and will be moving to korea as he has a new dream.
a new dream at 60 years old - it amazed me, but i realized life is truly what you make it, and it's never too late.
we then got into a conversation about why i'm currently unemployed, and he told me that i'm still young and he went to medical school at 31.
to give a bit of background about my doctor's education though, he went to 8 different schools, earning multiple degrees, and he had wealthy parents who paid for everything, meaning he didn't work a day until he opened up his own practice.
it made me feel relieved to think that someone else wasn't working at 26, although he was being more productive than i am.
the conversation shifted when my mom told our doctor that she pushed me way too hard growing up, and it's probably the biggest reason for my depression.
my doctor told us that while some people succeed through parents such as mine, many children end up never visiting home after moving out or end up struggling like me, with depression.
he said some of the most successful people he knows grew up in households where their parents never barged into their rooms and never threatened them to get good grades.
he told us a story about his own son, who was struggling in high school - a well-known private high school - to get through classes and also be on the swim team.
he hugged his son and said, "if you want to transfer out of your school then you can. if you want to quit the swim team because it's too stressful then it's okay. what matters is your happpiness."
after that, his sons grades started to get better and he became captain of the swim team.
it just took a bit of positive emotional support, something i never got growing up.
i know there is no right way to parent, and my parents only had one shot with me, but it felt good to have someone tell my mom that what she did to me was probably not the best course of action.
at the end he told me he wishes for my happiness, and that as long as i have a dream i can make it.
seeing him only one a year, we barely know each other, but when he said he wishes for my happiness, i believed him.
and it felt really nice to have someone wish that for me.
to be honest, i will probably be that child that never visits home after moving out.
and my mom claims to understand her faults now and what she needs to change, but old habits die hard.
but i am reminded once again that there is no one way to live life, and that where there's a will, there's a way.